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Hi little one! Hello in there! Are you so excited about our weekly walk? I just can’t wait to traipse around the neighborhood tugging on your lead and leash, the neighbors act so spooked when they see a grown man behaving like a little doggy! But what can I say, I just love reprogramming you to be my perfect little pet. You’re doing so well with your crate training lately, waiting patiently for me like a good boy while I’m out spending all your money. I don’t feel like walking you today though.. so you’re gonna have to get your exercise another way. Oh I know – let’s take your training a bit further. Instead of rewarding you with a walk I’m going to give you the best prize of all. You get to jerk it in your little kennel! Then you’re going to lick up every inch of this bowl that collects your jizz hahaha. You can be a good boy for me right?

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